


Words, Words, Words

by themayqueen



Category: Everybody Else (Band), Hanson (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Gay Male Character, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Incest, Light Angst, M/M, POV Second Person, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-11
Updated: 2012-03-11
Packaged: 2019-01-28 17:03:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12611252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themayqueen/pseuds/themayqueen
Summary: Every little touch that passes between us, all those little looks that your fans think they’re reading too much into… none of it is enough for me.





	Words, Words, Words

People talk about us, you know. Not as much as they talk about you and _him_ , but enough. They laugh at our pranks, point and smile at how we walk so close to each other, and whisper behind our backs when I follow you outside after the shows. They know I’m just as much your fan as they are.

But they don’t know the truth, and neither do you.

Every little touch that passes between us, all those little looks that your fans think they’re reading too much into… none of it is enough for me. I want to be everything they think we are and more. You like to joke about it–-how I must be into you just because you know I like guy--and each joke is another knife to my heart. I don’t dare point out that you like guys, too, or else you wouldn’t be with him. You’d tell me it’s just Taylor and no one else. You wouldn’t need to say that it will never be me; that would be implied.

If I had the balls, I’d call you out for being such a hypocrite. But I won’t, because I live for all the little moments we share that you think are innocent and nothing more than friendly. I wouldn’t dare do a thing to compromise what little we have.

But oh the things I would say to you if I ever grew the balls. It’s all planned out in my mind and sometimes it’s on the tip of my tongue when we’re together. Then you say his name with that little sigh, or you glance his way with such love in your eyes, and all my brave words fly right out of my head.

The first thing I would say wouldn’t even need words. I’d just lean in and kiss you; it would at least shut you up for a moment, so your stupid mouth wouldn’t keep ruining things. I’d give you a kiss that would lay all my feelings bare for you to see. If you didn’t punch me or run away or-–worst of all-–act like it never happened, then I’d have plenty more to say.

I’d start with how much better I am for you than Taylor. He’ll never really love you, you know. Not the way you want. You’ve spent so long ignoring the way he wanders that maybe you don’t even see it at all anymore. But I see it. Would it break your heart for someone to finally point it out? Maybe. But you have to know; he’s your brother, after all. You must realize how wrong, how forbidden, how _impossible_ it is.

Even if he were just some guy, someone you could really be with, I know I could still treat you better. I’m not foolish enough to think that, even if you did love me back, you’d ever leave your wife for me. But maybe you would consider it, if you could see what it was like to be with someone who wasn’t ashamed to hold your hand and tell the world he was yours.

Maybe that’s not what you want, though. After all, you never tire of pointing out that you’re straight except for Taylor, and I’m just your gay best friend. You wouldn’t even know what to do if you really fell in love with a man you could honestly be with, would you?

I’d love nothing more than to open your eyes to what he really is and who you really are, but I won’t. It would tear apart the fantasy world you’ve built for yourself. You’re so happy living there, even if it’s killing me. So I won’t say a word. I’ll let you go on pretending. I’ll let you go on living a lie, and I’ll let you cry on my shoulder the next time he finds someone else he wants. I’ll watch the way your fans give us those little looks and nudge each other knowingly, even though they really don’t have a clue. I’ll do all that and more, but I won’t ever tell you the truth.


End file.
